I haven’t been able to find an official reason why Legionis leaving the team but anyone with a little bit of foresight can see why.

Freshman D.J. Richardson, Brandon Paul, and (redshirt) Joseph Bertrand are already having an impact on this team.  High schoolers Tracy Abrams and Jereme Richmond will almost certainly have an immediate imact when they come to Champaign in the future. Where does Alex Legiona and his 3.2 points per game fit in?

Is it a selfish move? Yes. Does Legion appear to have commitment issues? Yes. Could this be a problem if he makes it to the NBA? Yes.

But I understand. Weber has no need for him and he has too much untapped potential to be a pine-rider. To be honest, Illinois is probably better off without him because Weber will no longer feel obligated to give the shooting-anemic, defense-disabled Legion any PT (Bill Cole, your table is ready).

Anyway, I think we all expect Legion to transfer to a small D-I school where he can be “the man”, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Legion crosses the pond to Europe. I doubt he’ll do much over there because he can’t shoot for dick, but I wish him the best.

SIDE BAR: Yes, I came back to blogging one day after retiring. Maybe I’ll keep this site going for a while longer. We’ll see, but don’t expect anything regular. I’m talking to you Ben.

It made me so happy that I almost ripped my jeans off like those tear-away pants basketball players wear and paraded around the newsroom singing “Hallelujah.”

Guenther said the assistant coaches who were recently hired, including offensive coordinator Paul Petrino and defensive coordinator Vic Koenning were selected to help relieve head coach Ron Zook of some responsibilities.

“If you look at the best programs in the country you’ve got real strength in those coordinator positions,” Guenther said. “They take their own shape. That allows him to tweak things as opposed to having to get too involved in any one area.”

FINALLY. Finally someone gets it. Zook is not a coach. He is a recruiter.

Relieve responsibilities? Yessur. Strength in the coordinator position? Thank Gawd.

This is the best Kwanzaa present ever.

Are Paul Petrino and Vic Koenning the right men for the job? Maybe not, but at least the right philosophy for a Ron Zook football program is in place.

To this I say “meh.”

They certainly could have done worse (aka Mike Schultz) but Petrino is no lock to turn the program around.

The interesting thing about this hire is the money that Petrino will be making. With a $475,000 yearly salary, Petrino will be collecting more cash than the offensive coordinators of Michigan, Ohio State, Wisconsin, Michigan State and Minnesota.

Seems like a lot for a fairly unproven commodity (it’s rumored that uber-douche brother Bobby Petrino did most of the play-calling for the Razorbacks), but the juice is well worth the squeeze if handled correctly.

Here’s the thing: Ron Zook is NOT a football coach. He is the best used car salesman that doesn’t sell cars. To borrow a line from “Tommy Boy”, he could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman wearing white gloves. But a playbook genius he is not.

This is something Ron Guenther and Illini fans have failed to recognize. Zook is a figure head that brings in the talent. He can compete with Ohio State and Michigan for recruits when Illinois should be on par with the University of Ohio and Eastern Michigan. He brings home the bacon.

Unfortunately the AD has surrounded him with the wrong football minds/coordinators to properly utilize Zook’s recruits.

Mike Schultz is the most recent example. He was a ball-control, no-turnover coordinator coaching high-risk, high-reward players. Schultz seemed to figure it out the last few games of the season, but his philosophy never fit the type of players that the Zooker brings to Champagin.

Petrino said he will “feed the studs” at Illinois. Maybe this was a last-ditch effort to lure Rejus Benn back to campus for his senior season, but this is the style of ball this team needs. Zook brings in the big recruits and they need to be touching the ball as much as possible.

So what does this mean for next year? Obviously the corpse of the 2009 Illini has barely had time to be laid to rest, but here are my 2010 Offensive Illini predictions with PP at the helm…

-Mikel LeShoure will be the focus. Running back by committee is dead. Hazah.
-Eddie McGee will get every chance to prove he should be the starter at QB next season. He has much more potential than Jacob Charest, but Petrino’s offense seems to be more focus around pocket-passing QBs. Still, I wouldn’t be surprised to see McGee under center to start.
-You didn’t hear this name much last season, but expect soon-to-be sophomore RB Justin Green to get more touches. This dude is fast as balls. Despite his small size, he is a big=play guy that can bust a 60+ yard TD at any time. He should jump ahead of my boy Jason Ford on the depth chart.
-TE Hubie Graham will need to become a receiving threat. With Uh-Oh moving onto the NFL and recruit C.J. Fiedorosopiewqpoiq switching his commitment to Iowa, Hubie will be the lone threat down the middle. Much like Bears TE Greg Olsen, Hubie is too big to be covered by safeties and too fast to be matched up with LBs. Saucy.

Before I wrote  the first Identity Crisis? post, I hadn’t realized that Daily Illini columnist Rich Mayor tackled this very same issue a few days ago.

Unfortunately for Rich, he’s on the wrong side of this argument. Here’s a rebuke from common sense…

When you think of (Weber’s) teams, what common trait do they all possess? What common trait has always been there, a staple of his coaching and, in turn, Illinois basketball? What common trait has led to his winning more games than any Big Ten coach in his first six years?

Clearly Rich is talking about defense, but the actual answer is coaching.

Weber has done more with HIS  recruits than a lot of “BCS” conference coaches have done in the last few years. Everything before the 2005-2006 season was done with mostly Bill Self’s guys, who were offensive players.

The only reason recent Illini teams have had a “defensive” identity is because Weber had no choice. The coach can only do so much with the tools he’s got. And Weber sure as schnitzel wasn’t going to try to outscore his opponents with offensively disabled players like Chester Frazier, Trent Meacham and Calivn Brock.

Speaking of those guys…

Senior guards Chester Frazier, Trent Meacham and Calvin Brock had almost zero ability to create their own shots, yet they played intelligent defense and shut teams down, forcing them to play at the snail pace the Illini were most comfortable at.

And how many of those guys are playing in the NBA right now? And how comfortable did the Illini look trying to slow down Western Kentucky in the tournament?

I rest my case.

I would rather have my heart surgically removed with a wooden spoon than watch Frazier, Meacham and Brock try to play offense. They are the right players for the right system…in the 1950s.  I heard Brock has got a mean potty shot.

Last season, Illinois led the Big Ten and ranked third in the nation in scoring defense (57.2 points per game). This year? Not even sniffing elite status at 65.6 points per game.

Do you know how many points on average the national runner-up 2004-2005 Illini allowed to their opponents?

63.

I wouldn’t exactly call that “elite” status either, but that team made it to the Final Four while your 57.2 points per game team was bounced in the first round by a mid-major.

Just saying.

I understand you’re still in college and finals are just around the corner, but here’s the thing Rich: you’re talking out your ass.

The best players are the ones that score. Those are the guys who make it to the NBA. If you can’t score, you don’t play professionally. That’s why the stars of your Defensive Illini like Frazier, Meacham, Brock, Brain Randle, Warren Carter and Shawn Pruitt are out-sourcing their skills to countries that use umlauts and where man-pris are actually in style.

On the other hand, scorers like Deron Williams and Luther Head find themselves being picked in the first round of the NBA draft. Coincidence? I think not.

This is is because (prepare yourself for a rare cliche usage on my part) the best defense in college basketball is a great offense.

As long as your superior offense can keep scoring, you put pressure on the other team to match you point-for-point. This is a given in the NBA, but in the less-perfect, more-entertaining college game, teams will start forcing/rushing bad shots because they have to play catch-up. This is how the ’04-’05 Illini played and this how programs like North Carolina, Duke, UConn, Kansas and Kentucky win every year.

You want 40-point games and losses in the first round of the NCAA tournament? That’s fine. Nothing wrong with that. Mid-major coaches make a career at one school with those kind of numbers.

But this is Illinois, not Western Kentucky. It’s not too late to transfer if you’re interested Rich.

Boom, roasted.

This should come as no surprise asshats. I, along with everyone who covers the Illini, told you this was an offense-first team. Surprise!…?…!?

But here’s the deal: This is a good thing. Trust me.

As much fun as it was to watch Illinois play games in which both teams scored sub-50 points last year and as much of a pain as it is to have this version of Illini basketball struggle to score points at times, an offensively dominant team will bring you a championship.

Because everyone can score in the NBA, defense often separates the good from the bad. But in college, some teams (such as last year’s Illini) are scoring starved. Thus the advantage is with a squad that can just put up big numbers on a consistent basis.

To prove my point, let’s do a little comparison shopping. Here are the stats for the 08-09 Illini and 09-10 Illini through the first nine games…

The 2008-2009 Illini

Illinois 66, Eastern Washington 50
Illinois 72, Texas A&M-CC 53
Illinois 69, Vanderbilt 63
Illinois 78, Jackson State 64
Illinois 69, Kent State 63
Illinois 48, Tulsa 44
Illinois 74, Clemson 76
Illinois 76, Georgia 42
Illinois 68, Hawaii 58

Record: 8-1
Points scored: 620
Points allowed: 513
Average points scored: 69
Average points allowed: 57

The 2009-2010 Illini

Illinois 96, SIUE 69
Illinois 80, Northern Illinois 61
Illinois 94, Providence 48
Illinois 78, Wofford 64
Illinois 58, Utah 60
Illinois 68, Bradley 72
Illinois 76, Clemson 74
Illinois 84, Boise State 77
Illinois 79, Vanderbilt 68

Record: 7-2
Points scored: 713
Points allowed: 593
Average points scored: 79
Average points allowed: 66

There’s some interesting stuff there, but here’s the most compelling numbers…

08-09 Average margin of victory: +12
09-10 Average margin of victory: +13

So even though last year’s team had a better defense and better record through the same number of games, the Scroing Illini are still beating opponents by a similar margin. The newest version of the Fighthing Webers aren’t worse than last year’s team. But I think we can all agree they have more potential.

Yeah, there are going to be games when everyone is cold and the Illini can’t find the basket to save their lives, but this team is relying on a lot of young players to generate points. Give them some time bros. Your patience will pay off. Trust me…

04-05 Illini average margin of victory: +16

Oh. Hi.

Apologies for my week-long absence. Work was a bee-atch and the plague has settled in. Needless to say rest has been my top priority.

But I’m back and ready to blahg. So let’s get to it.

A 23-point deficit and five spit-takes later, the Illini pulled out one of the best comebacks I’ve ever witnessed. Now we can chalk this up to the heroics of certain players like D.J. Richardson or the brilliance of Bruce Weber running a zone defense in the second half, but this game was more luck than anything else. A friend of my mine (Big Boy from the Champaign adventures) told me that college games don’t matter until the second half. While it’s true that this game was a tale of two teams, I could not disagree more with this statement. Players don’t try until the fourth quarter in the NBA, but college is a full-game effort. So the win in Clemson was more of an exception than a rule. We’ve seen the Fighting Webers play great some games and awful in others. But they cannot expect to play shitketball for a half and then win.

Oh, and the Big Ten finally won the challenge after going 0-10. Anyone can have a bad decade.

There’s no shame in losing a hard-fought football game, but there is shame in letting a 350-pound lineman score on a 2-point conversion. There is a god and he is not an Illini fan. All kidding aside, the 53-52 loss to Fresno State was extremely entertaining. This is what I expected all season. It’s good to know that this team had the potential to make it rain all along, it’s just too bad it came out in the last two games. At least I know I’m not crazy.

Goodbye Juice Williams. You will go down in Jon Beutjer-esque like history.

Goodbye Rejus Benn. Get out while you can.

Hello Mikel LeShoure. After 184 yards on 11 carries, there is no doubt you’re the new star of Illini football. No pressure.

Evidently defense was optional in Champaign Saturday. The Webers basically sneaked by Boise State winning 84-77. The Broncos shot 55 percent in the game and made Illini fans sweat until the very end. This is the first “bad” game Illinois has played at home this season. I thought the Hall would be a huge advantage for this young team based on the way they dominated there at the beginning of the season, but it looks like the inconsistency persists. Good grief.

Despite losing to the Packers during the regular season, my digital Bears pulled out a huge win in the Super Bowl against the Steelers. I’m coming after you next ’72 Dolphins. Believe it or not, I have a girlfriend somehow.

/violin music

Instead of writing individual recaps for each travesty, I’m going to combine them in one long sob story. Please remove all sharp objects and poisonous substances from your immediate area. Things are about to get emo…

What happens in Vegas gets written about on this blog
First Utah upsets the Illini. Then to add insult to injury, Weber’s squad drops a half-assed game against a clearly inferior in-state Bradley team. Oi. Good things all my friends have functional brains and avoided going to Bradley for school. Uber-Frosh Brandon Paul had a total of 12 points in two games and offensive catalyst Demetri McCamey dished out eight turnovers for the weekend. They played without passion, energy, or determination. Maybe it was the small venue or the lack of concentration due to the Vegas lights, but this was not the same Illini team we saw in Champaign. What the hell man?
Silver lining: Hard to find anything positive here, but I think Illinois was exposed. I’ve said it many times, but this is NOT a top 25 team. Hopefully this will be the humbling experience the team (and Illini fans) need in order to understand the purpose of this season: rebuilding.

Illinois football is quickly becoming the red-headed stepchild of Illini athletics
As almost every other Illini sport seems to be enjoying at least moderate success, the football team can’t help but embarrass the fan base with yet another national TV pants-shatting. To be fair, the offense actually played decently in the 49-36 loss to No. 5 Cincinnati, but the Illini looked no better than a high school team at times. The game was emotionally out of reach by the end of the first half (perhaps even the first quarter), but the ease in which the Bearcats scored was depressing. This game showed how far away the Illini are from having a competitive defense – much less a competitive football program. Also, were the ABC announcers blowing Brain Kelly or what? Get a room guys.
Silver lining: It was nice to see Juice Williams have a solid game (21-for-34, 282 yards passing, 3 passing TDs, 67 yards rushing, rushing TD). Zook banished the senior to pine-riding purgatory a few games ago but this was the Juice of old.

Gopher’ed!
No. 5 Illinois volleyball (yes, I’m talkin’ ’bout volleyball suckers) lost to No. 13 Minnesota. Not only does it suck to lose to a conference opponent, but it’s particularly shameful to be defeated by the sub-human Minnesotans. Ick. I need a shower.
Silver lining: It’s volleyball. You may continue on with your lives.

Minnesota strikes again
The Bears get face-banged by the Brett Favre Vikings 36-10. This game was physically painful for me to watch. Jay Culter actually had a decent game considering what he was working with, but sweet fancy Moses the Bears defense was awful.
Silver lining: Spring Training is only three months away.

The (digital) Bears will never know (digital) 16-0
After starting my Madden franchise 12-0, I was finally defeated by…the Packers. Fuck you (digital) ’72 Dolphins.
Silver lining: The Packers were already eliminated from the playoffs, thus making my march to the Super Bowl inevitable.

So who is to blame for all my woes this weekend. I have a theory…

Thanks to Al for the screen grab

The Chief returns to take his vengeance on Illini fans! It is the winter of our discontent! Run for your lives!

Since it’s highly doubtful that you’ll make it to the bottom of this post, I’ll take all the melodrama out of it: Illinois will lose to Cincinnati.

But let’s tantalize our imagination for a moment and cook up a little upset recipe for your brain to chew on…

UPSET DELIGHT PIE

-1 highly rated team
-1 underachieving “team”
-National audience (game is on ABC)
-Trap game potential (the Bearcats play Pitt next week for the Big East title)
-Outside distractions (Cincinnati coach Brian Kelly is rumored to be one of the favorites to take over at Notre Dame once Charlie is axed.)

Now the hard stuff…

-Turnovers: In every big upset, the inferior team needs to force at least one turnover (Think Miami Thomas against Ohio State in 2007). Interceptions are the easiest way to do this, unfortunately Cincinnati is first in the nation in passing efficency (170.01) and the Illini defense couldn’t strip a sorostitute of of her dignity much less an opponent of the football.

-Big plays: In every great upset, usually one player will go above and beyond their normal stats and take over the game (think Juice against Ohio State in 2007). Juice will be starting the final two games of the season and this will most likely be his last shot to go out with a bang since no one with a functional brain will watch the Zookers play Fresno State. Unfortunately, I can only think of one moment all year when an Illini player took over a game: Mikel LeShoure against Michigan. Chances are slim we’ll see anyone step up.

-Gutsy play-calling: Mike Schultz is essentially the “Sarah Plain and Tall” of  offensive coordinators. He is about as liberal as a puritan when it comes picking the plays. Schultz’s philosophical pillar is ball-control (Probably the same philosophy his wife holds him to in bed…HEY-O), so it’s a stretch to expect anything eccentric out of him. However if Schultz is already on his way out of Champaign (as many expect) then perhaps he’ll decide to fuck philosophy and go to town on the Bearcats…and his wife.

Again, I’m not expecting an upset – quite the opposite actually. But wouldn’t it be just like the Zooker to fuck the pooch all season and then put together a masterpiece in a meaningless game for the Illini?

It’s disappointing this Illinois team didn’t make it to a bowl game, but we can treat this like one. And if this is an Illini bowl game, then we can expect a familiar result…

PREDICTION: Illinois 10, Cincinnati 38

Basketball and football are totally different (Apologies to those of you dumb enough to think otherwise. How have you survived this long?) so I’m going to attempt to cover them differently. Instead of doing the preview/recap posts like I’ve been doing for the Zookers all season, my posts about the basketball team will be more organic.

What can intelligently be said about a 94-48 bludgeoning of Presbyterian by the No. 20-ranked Illini? Perhaps I could mention that Alex Legion snapped out of suckitude by scoring 11 points off the bench. That was nice, but don’t expect it to last. On the opposite side of the spectrum, Mike Tisdale (five points, four rebounds in 14 minutes of play) continues to play like a 5’6″ Jewish kid.  Jeff Jordan had more rebounds (five) than Tisdale. Think about that for too long and your head will explode. Speaking of Jordan, does he suck or what? Still think he is going to help the offense when McCamey sits?

Before I get into an actual analysis of the Illini’s game against Wofford College, let’s all take a minute to laugh at their official school nickname/mascot: the Terriers. I shit you not. BWHAHAHA. But seriously folks, some writers think Wofford will present the Illini with their first real challenge of the season. “Wofford’s 2-2 record includes a victory over Georgia, which the Illini will face Dec. 19,” wrote new Tribune Illini basketball reporter Chris Hine, “and a three-point loss at Pittsburgh in which Wofford held a double-digit lead during the second half.” OK, I’m interested now but I still think the Illini will win with a 10+ point victory. In order for that to happen, I’m looking at two key points. First, Demetri McCamey needs to keep dishing the ball. He is averaging 8.3 assists per game (and only 8.7 points) – best for second in the nation. That is a beautiful thing. The second factor is finding out how Brandon Paul responds to being held in check against Presbytarian. BP3 was contained for only eight points (4-11 shooting, 0-4 on three’s) through 21 minutes of play. Clearly he was singled out as “the man” to stop. Until teams figure out how to contain Paul (which maybe they have), most teams will probably concentrate their defensive efforts on stopping him. Let’s see how the freshman handles it. Hopefully he won’t have a mental breakdown and gain 15 lbs from eating Pokey Sticks. Not that I ever did that while studying for my Econ 102 final as a freshman…

See anything strange? Answer after the jump.

With Big Ten play wrapped up, it’s time for journalists to start dispensing postseason awards and for obvious homer Illinois beat writer Bob Asmussen to begin turning shit into shine.

Asmussen’s ballot for All-Big Ten players includes two Illini: G Jon Asamoah (first team) and RB Mikel LeShoure (second team).

Asamoah is the best lineman on one of the better running teams in the conference, so his place on the All-Big Ten team is well deserved. First team? Probably not, but he has the talent to be just as good (if not better) at the NFL-level than most other linemen in the conference.

As for Mikel, Asmussen is stretching here. LeShoure has had a breakout season and should be No. 1 on the depth chart going into next season, but he is not one of the best four backs in the conference. Hell, he only has forty more rushing yards (536/496), a lower yards per carry average (6.1/6.7) and the same number of rushing TDs (3) than Jason Ford. I don’t think LeShoure was featured enough to make it on the all-conference team, but he certainly ran into this blogger’s heart. He’ll be on my preseason all-conference watch list.

See any noticeable Illini omissions?

Not a single defensive player made either team, which makes sense seeing how the Illini ranked last in the conference in nearly every statistical  category. However LB Ian Thomas and DE Clay Nurse could make a case to be on the second team.

Thomas filled in nicely for the injured Martez Wilson and the departed Brit Miller. He leads the team in tackles (78) and is eighth in the conference. He silently had a strong season and should be the next “guy” on defense. Which is to say he will become a fan favorite, makes lots of tackles, force few turnovers, graduate with a degree, be on an NFL practice squad, and then disappear (see Miller, J Leman).

Nurse didn’t do much in the way of tackles (30) but he did lead the team in sacks (5.5) and tackles for loss (10.5). He’s not the beacon of consistency that Thomas is for the defense, but he was the big playmaker (I use this term loosely) on a unit that did little all season. Throw the guy a fricken bone Asmussen.

UPDATE (7:20 p.m.)

As expected on this blog, the Big Ten all-conference selections were not kind to the Illini. Guard Jon Asamoah made the second team…and that’s it. One Illini. Awesome.

Benn (HA!), LeShoure, and Juice (double HA!) all made honorable mention, which brings great shame to the voting the process and shows you how little this award actually means.

PICTURE ANSWER

See anything now?…

How about now?…

YAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR.